.:..::ThiS iS NoT yOUr MiLLeNiUm::..:.

Anyone with half a brain should know this, but...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:35:51 GMT

...Emo and Clinical Depression are NOT the same thing.

That is all.

Relay-shun-ships. Ships with relays and a lot of shunning.

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:11:43 GMT

It's about time I wrote something on here, innit?

Something that's been on my mind recently is that although I've always been proud of my single-and-ready-to-mingle status, I can't help but feel lonely sometimes. Not lonely in the strictest sense - I have a lot of great friends, family, and co-workers, and I also appreciate alone-time to read a book or draw. But more in the sense that I don't have a "plus-one" to bring to events, or someone to go out for ice cream or dinner with, just the two of us.

Not that I'm complaining. I love being independent. I love being able to go to the bar and flirt without shame. I love not having to worry about always "looking good" for the boyfriend/girlfriend. I love being able to chase after a guy one week, and a girl the next week. Also, I hate what relationships do to some people. I don't wanna be the person who says "sorry guys, I can't hang out tonight or do anything fun because I promised my significant other we'd watch a movie tonight." I don't wanna be the person that doesn't want to go to the bar because there's "no point" - I can't flirt with people, right? I don't want to get into stupid, meaningless fights over stupid, meaningless things that wouldn't have made a difference if I wasn't in a relationship. I don't want to waste my time with someone who's going to break up with me (or whom I will break up with) one, or two, or three months down the line. I don't wanna be tied down.

And yet, I still think about it every once in a while - what it would be like to have a companion. Not just a friend, not just a random sexual partner, but both. But at the same-time, someone who wouldn't turn me into a boring ball-and chain, or who gets jealous or argumentative.

Meh, maybe I just need a hobby...

'Til then - single pride!!!

London, did you have to take my child away? You buried him under rent and low pay...

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:29:00 GMT

Holy crap, Batman. Long time no update. I always do this... -_-;

Well anyway, I have (tentatively) a whole month off because they're doing repairs at work. A lot of people are pissed off and are just gonna get another boring part-time job and leave. Which is good if the people who are leaving are ~~assholes~~ people I don't have a lot in common with and don't particularly like despite (minimal) efforts to at least be pleasant and kind. BUT this is at the same time bad if those leaving are awesome and funny and great, especially when the only time I see them or talk to them is at work. It'll most likely be about 50-50. A 1:1 asshole:friend ratio.

Also, I KNOW there are a lot of non-mutual feelings floating around with people I know (including myself :3). It SUCKS from both ends (feel free to laugh at the double-entendre). It sucks being the one who is liked by another person you don't particularly like back, at least not in the same way. I mean, I consider myself pretty easy-going, so unless someone makes it clear that they hate me first, I don't tend to hate people back. I'm everybody's friend until they give me a good reason not to be. But when someone else "likes" you (yes, I am using the very junior-high "he likes you, likes you") and you don't like them back...you can't help but feel kinda' shitty. And what's worse is when you have SO much in common right down to the way you think, what music you listen to, how you situate yourself politically, and even the way you argue, but you're just not attracted to them. If I was a guy, we'd be best friends. But I'm not, and I don't really want a "relationship" with him. And even if I changed my mind some time in the future, he's too strong-minded to take me back after the way I treated him, which probably wasn't very nice, even if I was trying to prevent even worse feelings in the future if we continued to get closer. It's like this: the main reason the Americans bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to end the war and prevent further the loss of life in continued warfare. As long as the number of people killed in the bombings < the number of soldiers killed if the war had continued, it's all good, right? Clearly not that simple, given most of the people were civilians who had no part in the war, and the Americans got off with way less loss than they would've encountered. And we still wonder if it was even the right decision. I did more damage than I would have done in the future by trying to prevent future damage. Well FUCK damage. As I was saying before, it also sucks when you like someone so much, but he likes...a fifteen year-old. SRSLY? Yeah, that made me 'wat.' Irritating. But he's still pretty cool and I'd rather be his friend despite the attraction than get pissy and storm off to find a hotter guy in a futile attempt to make him jealous. Although...

I also find there's great power to be had (amidst all the confusion) in being bisexual. If only more girls (and guys) were bisexual. There are a lot of guys I wish I could put in their place by showing them that being macho, asshole-ish, and disrespectful of women is not the way to get a girl. I'd give their girlfriends something they don't get from them - that feminine sort of care and attention, not to mention a romantic bubble bath. Hey, even for a not-so-feminine girl, I still know how the female mind operates. And then, with the guys, I'd laugh in their pitiful faces when their girlfriend would rather be with me. I also find myself more sexually frustrated with girls, simply because it's a lot harder to find a lesbian/bisexual/open-to-experimentation girl than it is to find a straight guy and still be attracted to her on top of that. Straight girls are pretty fucking cute.

And then there's the people who are just great friends. You just get each other. There's no weird bullshit. No drama. You'll sit at a coffee shop after getting stoned at 2 in the morning, talk about music 'til 3, then talk about your every aspiration, or just about a funny picture you saw on the internet. When all the other people your age are worried about buying booze for the weekend, you're at the playground climbing a tree, or throwing around a football, or seeing if you can still backflip off the swingset. And for a moment you feel like you did before life got so complicated...

Posting from the bus...

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 13:54:35 GMT

Damn, I'm such a tool, I haven't updated in so long -_-;. It's all because of that stupid soul-draining Facebook...damn Facebook...what's that Facebook?...I'm sorry...you're right, Facebook...I can't stay mad at you...

But anyway, I'm really psyched for spring and summer. A break from school as well as such awesome events as 420, pride, and Ai-Kon. That and going rollerblading at 2 in the morning, hanging out at the Forks all day, going for bike rides and getting Slurpees...ah, outdoor warmth...how I miss thee...

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 06:43:46 GMT

Journal, am I having too much random sex?

Up With Dead People

Sun, 11 May 2008 05:06:56 GMT

THIS looks freakin' sweet. It makes having strep throat during final exam week then working all weekend just a little less crappy.

My Political Compass Test

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 05:12:45 GMT

My Results

Take the Test

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:29:19 GMT

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:13:59 GMT

Slash!

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:40:47 GMT

I originally posted this at fucking_andy as a fic for the prompt table. It's pretty Torchwood-influenced at the beginning and end, but the middle is just sex.

Title: The Future was Then. This is Now.
Author: debauchetarian
Pairing: Anderson Cooper/Jack Harkness (Torchwood, Doctor Who)
Rating: NC-17
Prompt: 9. Clockwise
Word Count: 1,784
Content: Slash, graphic sex., rimming, clifhangers to nowhere.
Summary: Anderson meets Captain Jack Harkness - whom he doesn't realize he's met before. PWSP (Porn with some crappy attempt at plot).
Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).

He'd been a mysterious friend of his mother's. That was all he knew, back from when he was just a kid. For a while, he came around frequently, but then Anderson never saw him again. He secretly wondered where he'd gone and if everything was okay, or if he had died, moved away, or just simply...disappeared.

-
A bar, Cardiff, 2008:

"Hi there. What are you drinking? I'll buy you another."

He'd been in the bar no longer than four minutes, and he was already being hit on. Being handsome, famous, and in all honesty a little promiscuous, Anderson was used to this. While most of the time it just got annoying, he was never one to turn down a guiltless fuck with a hot guy. And this guy, Anderson discovered as he looked up, was definitely suitable.

"Rum and Coke." Anderson smiled coyly at the handsome stranger, figuring he was up for a night of fun.

"Two Rum and Cokes, please," the man asked the bartender.

Anderson found himself staring at him again. He had light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He had a strong jawline and a charming, Hollywood smile, but his lips were pouty and soft. He looked strangely familiar...

"I've never seen you around here before. Are you visiting?" He leaned in closer to Anderson, and Anderson almost lost his breath. Fuck, the guy was charming...

"I'm from New York." Anderson replied, "I'm a reporter and I'm doing a story about the strange things that've been apparently going on around here. If you ask me, it's all a lot of bullshit..." Anderson stared blankly into his glass for a breif moment before looking back up into his stunning blue eyes. "Er...sorry about the ranting. My name's Anderson Cooper by the way."

The man raised an eyebrow, then extended his hand to touch Anderson's. "Captain Jack Harkness," he introduced himself. "So have you got any plans for tonight, Anderson?"

Anderson closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. The sound of the man's voice excited him so much...

"That depends," Anderson replied, a devious smile gracing his lips, "do you?"

-

Anderson swung open the hotel room door with a little more force than was necessary. He was sure he must have woken up the guests next door, but fuck, he didn't care.

"Fuccckkk, Jack...." Anderson panted. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this turned on. Jack sucked hard at the nape of Anderson's neck, trailing forceful kisses up across his jaw, and back to his mouth. His hard-on was pressing up against Jack's, begging for some kind of friction.

Anderson let his hands explore Jack's perfect body - his hips, his ass, his hard cock. He pulled apart the button on Jack's pants, all the while still locking lips with him, his tongue pressed up against Jack's.

They quickly and briefly broke apart to disrobe, tossing every article of clothing into the corner. They stood, catching their breath for a moment, giving each other the once-over - they both had nicely toned abs, Jack had an especially nice ass, and Anderson had sturdy, yet beautifully slender hips. Jack's erect cock was only bigger than Anderson's by about half an inch, but both men were well endowed.

And as quickly as they had strarted making out, they continued, Jack giving Anderson a posessive, hard squeeze on the ass, making him whimper into Jack's mouth.

"Fuck me, Jack," Anderson rasped, stroking Jack's cock a few times before kneeling down to taste it. He took it into his mouth, sucking playfully. Anderson moaned around the hard cock, making Jack groan loudly.

"Okayokay..." Jack gasped, "'you got any lube?"

Anderson pulled his mouth off Jack's dick, wiping his own saliva off his chin with the back of his hand. "Fuck. I didn't bring any...."

"S'okay." Jack replied, "lean over the bed, I've got an idea."

Before Anderson could protest, Jack dropped to his knees and ran his hands up and down Anderson's ass cheeks before spreading them a little. Anderson may have been 40, but he had the ass of an 18 year-old. Jack admired Anderson's ass once more before running his tongue over the tight pink hole.

Anderson shivered and threw back his head. "Jesus...that feels..."

Jack penetrated him with his tongue.

"Fuck! Oh god, Jack, yeaahhhh....." Anderson was begging now. "Fuck me now, Jack, please..."

Jack continued to lap away at Anderson's ass, making sure he was good and wet, before inserting two fingers with a nice, hard thrust of his forearm.

Anderson lost his breath for a moment before groaning loudly. Jack removed the fingers and added another, thrusting into him like before and curving his fingers to hit Anderson's prostate right on. Jack was a fucking expert.

"I want you inside me, Jack," Anderson begged and moaned. "Pleeeaaasse...."

"Lie down," Jack tapped his ass, motioning him onto the bed. "Face up. I want to see your beautiful eyes..."

Anderson quivered, obeying Jack's commands, spreading his legs and pulling Jack toward him and on top of him, thanking him for the compliment by giving him an enthusiastic, lust-filled kiss.

As the kiss deepened with both pleasure and emotion, Jack began to penetrate Anderson, making his breath quicken and his skilled tongue move faster in Jack's mouth.

Jack quickly slid all the way into Anderson. "Fuck, you're so tight..." Jack took a deep breath and began to fuck his new lover gently and slowly, still managing to provoke immense pleasure in Anderson. Anderson's moans were soft and drawn out. He began to relax. It felt wonderful.

Jack was, in every way, an excellent lover. Anderson felt safe underneath him at the same time he felt that dangerous unpredictability that drove him into arousal. Jack continued to fuck Anderson at the same speed but with more force, making Anderson whimper involuntarily upon each thrust. He took Anderson's erection in his hand and stroked it a few times before leaning down to tongue his neck and nibble gently at the nearby erogenous zones, making Anderson sigh deeply with pleasure, moaning out.

Jack picked up the pace, his own arousal getting the better of him. Anderson certainly didn't mind, judging by the noises he was making: lustful pants and moans and the occasional detached muttering of Jack's name as the beautiful man on top of him pounded into him, now without relent.

Anderson got louder. "Fuck, Jack, yes....fuck me...hard....yeeaahhhh....."

They were both so close.

Anderson grabbed the bars on the bed frame to keep from being rammed into the wall by Jack's intense drive toward pleasure, and seven mind-blowing seconds later, he came all over his abs and chest, followed shortly by Jack's loud, earth-shattering orgasm inside him.

They both collapsed after the mutually unbelievable sex, hot and sweaty and out of breath on the bed.

They lay there for about half an hour, speechless, exchanging the occasional glance, before Jack finally sat up. He had almost forgotten what he had to do.

"Give me your hand, Anderson Cooper."

Anderson presented his right hand, but Jack grabbed him by his left wrist and pulled the hand toward him. He pressed a button on his watch and Anderson just sat there naked on the bed, wondering what the hell this guy was up to.

He looked back down at his hand with a look of subdued horror. This...thing about the size of a coin appeared in his hand. Jack took it from him and Anderson looked like he was either about to faint, or freak out. What the FUCK....

--
Vanderbilt home, New York, 1974:

It was another one of his mom's lavish parties, and Anderson found himself all alone. His mom told him it would be impolite not to make an appearance, so he stood in the corner and played with his favourite airplane.

"Hello, Anderson." A man knelt down in front of him, so as to match his height.

"Hi..." Little Anderson started shyly, realizing he did not know the man's name.

"My name is Jack. Captain Jack Harkness. I'm a friend of your mom's."

Anderson just stood and nodded.

"You wanna know a secret?"

Anderson nodded and smiled, excited to be privvy to something so special.

"But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Promise?"

Anderson agreed.

"I'm from the future."

"Woah...." Anderson gasped under his breath to himself in disbelief.

"I'm what's called a Time Agent. Pretty cool, huh?" The Captain smiled at the young boy's awe. "And what's really cool is that you might get to be a Time Agent, too."

Little Anderson shook his head in disbelief. "No way! But I don't know how to travel through time."

"All you have to do is keep this." Jack held up a small, five-sided object. It looked similar to a coin, but close-up, it was like nothing Anderson had ever seen before. "Hold out your left hand."

Anderson held out his right, and then quickly switched it for his left. Jack placed the device in the palm of Anderson's hand, and it sunk into his skin, embedding itself before disappearing into him completely.

Little Anderson stared wide-eyed at his hand, flipping it over a couple of times and then looking around on the floor. "Where'd it go?"

"You'll find out much later." Jack answered and handed him a drink, "drink this."

Anderson didn't even ask questions. He brought the glass to his lips, but then brought it back down. "Hey, how do you travel in time, anyway?"

Jack looked around in an exaggerated attempt to make sure no one was looking. He held out his wrist, on which was a strap with what looked like a really, really fancy hi-tech space watch or something. "You press this," he pressed a button and a little light came on, "and then you turn this," he pointed to the part that most made it resemble a watch, "clockwise."

"Clockwise?" Anderson repeated back to him.

"Well, if you want to go forward in time, yeah. To go back you turn it the other way." Jack turned it clockwise, setting it for the exact appropriate time in the future. "Don't forget to finish your drink."

Anderson nodded and drank more from the glass as Jack pressed another button and...disappeared.

Anderson woke up the next morning as if nothing beyond playing with his toy airplane had ever happened.

----

Anderson's hotel room, Cardiff, 2008:

Jack stared at the small object with a look of great intent, as Anderson stared at Jack in hopes that he would turn around and explain what the fuck had just happened.

Jack laughed under his breath. He seemed to be beaming with joy. "At last. I've found you."

I wish I was a Magical Girl

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:15:17 GMT

I am now the proud owner of a beautiful shiny black 6-string electric violin! She sounds quite nice, even with my crappy amp and FX kit. But I find it hard to write for such a non-traditional instrument....*sigh*

Go Torchwood 2! I love seeing the affection between Jack and Ianto....it makes me miss RTD's other creation (well, the US version), QAF. Jack Harkness and Brian Kinney....are love.

And I found out I got the job I applied for at Mongo's Grill! Such an awesome restaurant, and I guess as of Monday I'll be working for them.

Also, I just did my IB English oral exam today (on Sunday....I know, it's terrible) and I was told by the teacher doing the examination that I pretty much ACED it!

Having said all that, I still have this deep feeling of foreboding...oh well, I'll go practice my parapara! :3

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:23:06 GMT

I still miss him.

...

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 23:13:47 GMT

I'm pretty behind on some important school work...
All my friends are disappearing...
Love-life-wise, I seem to want what I can't have...

And I am tired...
Oh so tired...
All the time.

i mislim na tebe sad...

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 23:05:37 GMT

Želimo istu stvar
zbog čega onda takav stav
ošim ako je tvoja ljubav
samo otmjena laž...

Gdje bi bio bez mene
hajde probaj sjeti se
jeftine zabave, kocka
život na ulog ništa il' sve...

Da bar okrznu te ove moje riječi
pa da mirno mogu, mogu leči
u nadi da ipak postoji način
da te vratim...

I mislim na tebe sad
a s tobom koji je vrag
u našim tijelima gori plamen, znam
ja sam ti sve, sve što ti treba
ja sam ti najbolje od svega...

Gdje bi bio bez mene
hajde probaj sjeti se
jeftine zabave, kocka
život na ulog ništa il' sve...

Gdje bi bio bez mene
hajde probaj sjeti se
jeftine zabave, kocka
život na ulog ništa il' sve...

I mislim na tebe sad
a s tobom koji je vrag
u našim tijelima gori plamen, znam
ja sam ti sve, sve što ti treba
ja sam ti najbolje od svega...

☆

And I'm thinking of you now
and what the hell is wrong with you
in our bodies the flame is burning, I know
I am everything for you, all you'll ever need
I am the best of all for you....

(....my learning of Croatian is progressing.[Dedicated to...well, it's a secret...])

Elegance

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:16:43 GMT

I might be getting this awesome 6-string electric violin. It looks promising so far....

I really aspire to this level of talent. This is so beautiful. For everyone who says that rock is only for the guitarists, drummers, and bassists - this is to prove you wrong.

The name is "Ed Alleyne-Johnson." Respect.

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:56:07 GMT

It has occurred to me that I haven't updated in FOREVER. So here's a picture of me at Ai-Kon:

Sailor Iron Mouse! Bwah!

I've been having a lot of weird ideas lately. I've been getting more and more into parapara, and I want to go down to the Forks with a bunch of people and a boombox and practice there. Just for kicks. Also, I've concluded that Dead Like Me and Torchwood would make for a very good crossover (George + Gwen = WIN).

Also, I just got my medical forms filled out for boxing, so I can start sparring again. Woohoo! And my allergies are also getting better little by little, so my family is seriously considering adopting a kitty-cat. I don't think my rat would like that.

hullo zeeba nieghba!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 07:25:15 GMT

Well, I'm leaving for vacation in a matter of days. Yay, I guess.

Anyway, I found this: ihasatardis, and figured it might be of interest to some people (I'm looking at you, ajyablo and wukiwuki.)

And WHY CAN'T I FIND ANY PARAPARA DANCERS IN WINNIPEG?!

"恋のブチアゲ天国：恋のマイアヒ～チワワ～バンザイ"

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 21:52:37 GMT

That is all.

I've been infected...with EMO...

Fri, 18 May 2007 03:49:14 GMT

I just watched the season finales for ER, Scrubs, and Grey's Anatomy, and now I'm watching AC360 about the deadly issues facing Africa, and man, is it all depressing. I'm not going to go into details (too much work) but now I feel like ~~shooting myself~~ wallowing in my own sadness and writing depressing stories.

What's worse is I want to find a way to combine all my favourite fandoms and have my favourite characters die or lose someone or...or...OR SOMETHING ELSE DEPRESSING! I'll make a SUPER-DUPER season finale out of ALL of them and it'll be SO depressing that I will OVERDOSE ON EMO!!!

That, or I'll watch some South Park and Sarah Silverman and maybe some Strangers With Candy and laugh my temporarily-depressed little ass off.

Hah. Emo MY ASS.

Sat, 12 May 2007 20:43:22 GMT

I finally got around to scanning a picture I drew of my favourite Pop'n Music character, Milk!

Here she is:
♥ Milk ♥

Sun, 06 May 2007 21:46:14 GMT

Wa wi wa wa. I've been bingeing on Sailor Moon lately. I started right from the beginning of the Japanese series and am slowly but surely working my way all the way toward the end of Sailor Moon Stars. Yipee! So many memories... Why did I ever garage-sell all my Sailor Moon toys?!?! *cries* I could really use that crescent wand right now...

Sexy guys, 1 ; Water and Pills, 0!

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:44:32 GMT

Well, first day back after spring break...and I'm not at school. I woke up feeling bad. I decided it wasn't that bad, so I got ready to go anyway. I went in for my usual Monday morning psych appointment, and feeling much worse, went to the clinic. Long story short, I have an infection. The doc told me that it would be best not to go to school today, prescribed me some meds, and told me to drink lots of water.

So here I am, at home, thinking 'water and pills? Laaaame.' I realised that what would make me all better is making a Super-Awesome Top 10 Sexy Guys List!!

After much deliberation, this is what I have:

1. George Clooney
2. Goran Višnjić
3. Paul Dinello
4. Anderson Cooper
5. Denis Leary
6. Robert Gant
7. Gale Harold
8. Keith Obermann
9. Stephen Colbert
10. Jon Stewart

There! I did it...

(Don't make fun of me, I know the vast majority of them are old enough to be my father, yada yada, yada...)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have ~~water to drink~~ pills to take and ~~pills to take~~ water to drink.

It's almost spring break, it's almost spring break...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:34:08 GMT

One more day...one more day in that wretched institution...one more day and I'm free...FREE!!! For a week! Muahahahaha! With all that free time, I'm gonna...I'm gonna...I'M GONNA DO ALL THE HOMEWORK I HAVE FOR SPRING BREAK! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

But one thing I'm trying my hardest to remember: I am VERY fortunate to go to school, and at that, a very good school. I live in Canada, free, with billions of opportunities within my grasp. I am not being oppressed for reasons of religion, race, ethnicity, sexuality, or gender. I have a secure home with parents who provide for me to the point of privilege. I am not dying of a terminal illness.
So WHO CARES if I have a lot of homework!? Yeah, it's hard work, but it's all for a good reason. I've been given a rare opportunity, and I choose not to waste it. I will use my freedom, privilege, and opportunity to help others who are not so fortunate. That's why I want to go into medicine.

All that aside, I think I'm going to relax a little, maybe work on my drawings and my songs, do some shopping...

Crackity-crackity crack-crack

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 06:08:45 GMT

So I'm watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann, and I get a knock at the door. It's that damn Loch Ness monster again! He asked me for 360. I told him '360 isn't on right now.' He looked depressed. So I gave him a cookie and invited him to watch Countdown with me. He asked me for 360 again. I became frustrated. 'Now listen here you Loch Ness Monster, I told you, you can't HAVE 360!' Then he bit me. So I bit him back. But then he BIT ME AGAIN! I even offered him $3.50, explaining him that it was only 10 shy of 360. Then he asked me how three dollars and fifty cents + a movie with Bo Derek form 1979 = 2 hours of news from Anderson Cooper. I said I didn't know, but it must have something to do with trigonometry. He asked me what that was. I explained to him how sine was invading the city of Pythagoras to take over cosine's right triangle and eat all his pi. He didn't get it. Loch Ness monsters aren't too bright...

An inspirational acrostic...

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 04:31:33 GMT

I call it THIS IS

Believe in yourself
Undertake new challenges
Live every day
Like it was your last
Strive for your goals
Hopes, and dreams
Inspire your life, because
Time goes by fast